Caring with a Courageous Heart
Family has always been at the center of my life, and being the youngest of four—nine years behind my siblings—has given me a unique perspective on love, responsibility, and the fragility of life. My oldest sister has Down syndrome, a constant reminder that life comes with its own set of joys and challenges. I established guardianship and conservatorship of her at the first signs of dementia in my mom, making sure that my sister, Donna would be protected and supported.
I first began noticing signs of dementia in my mom when she was 79. Around that same time, I became her guardian and conservator, knowing I needed to protect her and make sure she would be cared for as the dementia progressed over the next several years.
As my mom’s condition worsened, my dad’s ability to make sound decisions also began to decline. This season quickly became a constant battle—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet it was during this time that my strength and faith in God grew more than ever before. Prayer became my refuge, the only place I could breathe, as I faced misunderstanding and even persecution from my own family.
The year that followed became a blur of courtrooms and legal battles. I fought to shield my mom from financial abuse while navigating deeply strained relationships with my brother and his daughters. It was painful and exhausting, and there were many days I felt completely alone. But through it all, I clung to God’s guidance and the steady assurance that I was doing what I was called to do.
“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” — Psalm 28:7
It was during this turbulent period that we discovered my dad had brain cancer. Suddenly, the choices he had made over the past year—choices that had seemed confusing or even hurtful—began to make sense. He passed away in 2016, about a month after his diagnosis. A week before he died, he redid his will, disinheriting my brother, my sisters, my mom, and me, and leaving his estate to both of my nieces and one of my nephews. He chose no funeral or service, and his ashes were taken out to sea, as he had requested.
In 2018, my brother tragically committed suicide. I was not allowed at his service, a heartbreak that still echoes today. My mom passed away in 2019, closing another chapter of deep loss and grief.
Those years were filled with relentless challenges. My husband faced two types of cancer and kidney failure. My sister Donna battled cancer and suffered a broken hip and foot. My youngest son endured multiple procedures at ages 19 and 20 for a kinked artery and struggled with seizures at the same time. Life seemed to demand more than I ever thought I could give.
In 2020, my family made the move to northern Oregon to be closer to my adult children, seeking connection, support, and a chance to rebuild in a place of love. We also brought my father-in-law with us. He had been diagnosed with cancer and already had COPD. He made the decision not to treat the cancer, and we cared for him in our home until he passed away in 2023.
Through every trial, I’ve learned that caregiving is not just about attending to medical needs or legal responsibilities—it’s about holding onto hope, offering love when it’s hard, and relying on God to sustain you through moments that feel unbearable.
This page is my tribute to family, to caregiving, and to the quiet, often unseen sacrifices that love demands. It is a place where I can share the raw truths of life, the heartbreak, the unexpected joys, and the profound lessons that come from walking through challenges with faith and perseverance.
Life isn’t easy, and caregiving isn’t for the faint of heart. But in the midst of struggle, there is grace. There is growth. And there is love—unwavering, unshakable, and ever-present.